


In Sickness and in Health

by Maizeysugah



Series: The Mudblood Relocation Camp Tales [9]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anal Sex, Cravings, Emotional Sex, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Moody Voldemort, Morning Sickness, Not M-Preg, Pregnancy, Pregnancy Brain, Titanic - Freeform, emotional harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-02
Updated: 2015-10-02
Packaged: 2018-04-24 11:58:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4918636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maizeysugah/pseuds/Maizeysugah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Having found a way to combine their DNA to create life, Lord Voldemort and Harry Potter ask Hermione Granger to be their surrogate to their first child. Fortunately for her, she's not the one having any pregnancy side-effects - Unfortnately for them, Harry and Voldemort are.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Sickness and in Health

“Oh…” Harry looked down at the glass he just dropped on the floor. Instantly, he started to cry as he bent down and picked up the pieces. 

“What’s the matter now? Oh, stop, I’ll clean it up.” Lord Voldemort waved his wand over the broken glass and dried up the milk while the glass flew into the rubbish bin. Harry dropped his head on his husband’s chest, still blubbering like a baby. Voldemort hugged him while he rolled his eyes at Bellatrix. 

“He’s literally crying over spilt milk,” she said, but Voldemort swiped a finger across his throat to shut her up. 

“Come on, honey, let’s go have lunch.” 

“Okay,” Harry whimpered and let the man walk him to the dining hall. The young man started looking around the room before they left. “Where did I put my glasses?” 

Voldemort groaned. “They’re on your face. Stop it.” 

Harry sobbed. “Sorry.”

* * *

Harry sobbed into his hands while he and Hermione watched “Titanic”. They had just started the film. “Harry, why are you crying? This is the happy part,” Hermione asked him while she rubbed his shoulder. 

“I know what’s going to happen,” he whined. “They’re all going to die.” At that, Harry wailed gutturally, alerting his husband with panic through his scar. 

Lord Voldemort flew into the common room and dropped to his knees in front of Harry. “What’s the matter, darling?” 

“They’re all going to die,” he said again, letting Voldemort hug and rock him. The Dark Lord exchanged looks with Hermione, both shaking their heads. 

“I’m the one carrying the child, I have no idea why it’s effecting Harry so badly.” She patted his shoulder to calm him down. 

“It’s a side effect. Combining our DNA and creating an egg linked us both to the pregnancy, sort of like Harry’s scar.” 

“I haven’t seen you cry.” 

Voldemort held up a finger, suddenly feeling violently ill. He ran to the toilet and vomited, swished out his mouth and returned right where he was standing to answer her question. “It’s not sadness I’m feeling; it’s worry for you and Harry’s wellbeing. I can’t stop feeling dread. Also, I have morning sickness.” 

“I see. Hm, I feel great! This is fantastic,” she said, grinning and patting her large belly. “You two sucked out all of my side-effects. 

“If you need anything, do not hesitate to ask. I have a medi-witch on call 24 hours a day for you personally. All you need to do is rub this coin and he’ll appear in front of you wherever you are.” He gave the girl a Golden Galleon. 

“Thanks, Tom.” 

“Anything you need, just let me know.” 

Hermione pushed the niceties away. She was fucking starving and needed food—loads of it. Right. Fucking. Now. “Well, to be honest, I’m seriously craving cauldron cake and pumpkin pasties right now. Like, now.” 

“Oh, that sounds really good,” Harry said, still sobbing. “And chocolate eclairs, and maybe some ice cream.” 

Cringing, suddenly realising Harry’s side effects were growing in numbers, Lord Voldemort stood up to get them their food. “I’ll be right back. Maybe put something on that’s a bit happier.” 

“Right,” Hermione said, and turned off the movie.

* * *

“Gods, is it hot in here?” Lord Voldemort wiped the sweat on his forehead. 

Harry teared up and he checked the thermostat. “I’m so sorry you feel hot,” he whined. 

“Don’t start crying again,” Voldemort warned him. He was getting very irritated with his young husband’s inability to control his emotions. Voldemort was feeling very moody about everything and Harry’s constant crying wasn’t helping matters. He got up from behind his desk and grabbed Harry’s hand. “Come here, you big baby.” 

“Well, my back hurts and I’m tired and it’s only six p.m..” 

Voldemort moved him over to the bathroom. He ran a bath while he stripped down out of his clothes. Harry undressed and climbed into the sunk-in tub to snuggle with his husband. He felt safe again and stopped crying. “You always know what to do.” 

“I want you to be happy. All you do is cry anymore.” 

“I sure do wish Hermione would have that baby already. That would make me very happy.” He started crying again. “She’s never going to have that baby, is she?” 

Voldemort sighed, long and loudly. “Yes she is. She’s due any day now. Stop. Crying.” 

“Now you’re mad at me…” Harry whined, wiping tears off of his cheeks. “And I’m starving but I’m in a bathtub.” 

Sighing again, Voldemort snapped his fingers, signalling a House-elf to appear with a tray of snacks for Harry to choose from. He had become Harry’s personal vending machine over the last few months as the cravings grew stronger. Harry chose a pumpkin pasty, two chocolate-peanut butter milkshakes, several chocolate frogs and a pickle before his master shooed the elf away. 

“You really think you can eat all of that?” Voldemort asked him. 

“Does it matter? You got a problem with me?” Harry glared back at his husband while he amassed his hoard. “You even think about touching this I’ll bite your bloody hand off.” 

“Jeez, calm down, Cujo.” Voldemort sneered back at him. “Could you hurry up and finish your goddamn sugar buffet sometime tonight so we can fuck and go to bed, please? I’m exhausted. You’ve been so lazy these last few months; just leaving towels and socks on the floor and not dumping your cereal bowls into the sink, leaving a soggy nightmare for me to clean up-I’m worn out. And I won’t even mention that we hardly have sex anymore.” 

“Are you seriously going to fucking go there? I am going through some shit I cannot explain right now and you want to complain about sex?” Harry threw a chocolate frog at him, hitting Lord Voldemort in the face with it. He then blinked, suddenly looking confused as to why his husband had the impression of a chocolate frog stamped on his forehead. “What were we just arguing about?” 

“Oh my God.” Voldemort scrubbed his face with his hands to stop himself from strangling the man. When he looked back at him, Harry had chocolate all over his mouth and everything had been eaten except for the pickle. Voldemort pulled his lover into his arms. “Let’s not fight anymore.” 

“Were we fighting? Ooh, chocolate.” Harry leaned in and licked the chocolate off of his husband’s forehead. He looked at him funny, having just realised he was licking chocolate off of his face. “Why do you have chocolate all over your face? That’s weird.” 

“That’s it.” Lord Voldemort knocked the pickle out of Harry’s hand, stood him up and marched him out of the bathroom only to shove him down over the side of the bed. Twisting his arms up behind his back, he held his wrists up together in one hand while he lubed his cock up and prepared Harry to get royally fucked. 

Harry looked back at him and was about to say something but Voldemort quickly shoved his head back into the mattress by wrenching his arms farther up. “Nope, shut the fuck up. No more complaining, no more whining, no crying, no stupid questions. I’m done with this.” 

“I’m trying to breathe here!” Harry shouted into the bedding. Voldemort slid himself into him fully and pulled Harry up to stand. He pinned his wrists back together over his sternum and cupped his other hand over Harry’s mouth to shut his arse up so he could enjoy the rare sexual opportunity before he ruined it. Again. 

“There. Things just went from absolute shit to perfection.” Voldemort tipped Harry’s head back onto his chest so he could lick and suck on his throat while he fucked him. Harry mewed and moaned very prettily for his lover’s pleasure. After several minutes, he tightened his grip on Harry to get his attention. “You think you can control your big mouth now?” 

“Mhm,” Harry replied. 

“Good.” He flipped his husband around and shoved him back onto the bed. He climbed over top of him and slung the younger man’s legs over the crooks of his elbows. He slicked Harry up so he could pleasure himself while he repeatedly pumped his cock into his arse. He loved watching Harry touch himself, he made it look so bloody hot. “Now remember what I said; no talking. I’m warning you.” 

Harry zipped his mouth shut and closed his eyes, melting into the pleasure he and his husband were giving him. Within seconds he spoke. “Gods, you’re so fucking deep.” 

“Sh!” Voldemort hissed. “I don’t need you to try and sound sexy. Do not speak.” He slapped his arse as punishment. 

“Ow!” Harry cried, garnering him another slap. “Okay, okay-Ow!” 

“This isn’t working.” Voldemort pulled out and dropped back onto the bed. Scowling, he angrily pointed down at his cock. “Sit! Facing me.” 

“Fine-oops,” Harry said as he eased down over his husband’s massive cock. 

Voldemort took him by the hair, forcing their lips together. He snaked his tongue inside his mouth and swept it along Harry’s while he took the young man’s cock in hand to bring him to orgasm. “Every time you feel the need to open your yap kiss me instead.” 

Harry ground into him, very hard, very fast. He kissed Voldemort again, feeling the need to tell him to shove up faster but knowing it would just piss him off. He was so close to coming, any extra effort would send him over the top. He scrunched his face up in frustration, scowling back at his husband for not being allowed to speak. 

“What?! What do you want to say, goddammit?” Voldemort shouted. He pounded into Harry to throw him off-kilter but that was exactly what Harry wanted. With a breathy gasp, he came all over Voldemort’s stomach, still riding him as hard as he could until he could no longer move. The Dark Lord flipped them over, dropping his lover onto his back to finish himself off. He was furious, absolutely livid with Harry at that moment. The impending orgasm came to a cusp. He yanked Harry up and ordered him to open his mouth and give him his tongue. He slapped his cock hard against his flattened tongue while he came into his mouth, watching its pearly essence dribble down his chin. “Fucking finally.” 

“Ooh, what’s wrong with you?” Harry was sneering up at him, looking stupidly confused. “Getting tired of this attitude problem of yours.” He still had semen and chocolate smudged all over his face. He started looking around on the bed. “Damn, where’d I put that pickle?” 

Lord Voldemort slowly started to laugh. He couldn’t help himself. This pregnancy had taken a great toll of both of them. He cleaned them both up and pulled the covers over them and snuggled into Harry’s side. Perplexed, Harry snuggled back and closed his eyes, exhausted.

* * *

“Ow, ow, ow.” 

Lord Voldemort sat up in bed and looked down at Harry. “What’s the matter?” 

Harry clutched his stomach. “Hermione’s in serious labour. She’s in labour but I get the labour pains. Bloody hell, what is my life? They’ve been growing steadily for several hours, the pain is unbearable now.” 

The Dark Lord grinned brightly and hopped out of bed, elated and very worried for Hermione’s wellbeing. “I hope she’s comfortable. We need to boil some water and tear up sheets!” 

“Slow down, Dr Oblivious, we have a medi-witch on call to help her.” 

Both men raced to Hermione’s side. She was giddy, definitely not in pain, exchanging barbs with her new boyfriend while the medi-witch delivered the baby. 

After almost an hour the baby was delivered and placed on Hermione’s chest. “It’s a girl!” Harry instantly stopped hurting. He straightened up and he and Voldemort came up beside Hermione to see their new baby. 

“Oh fuck!” she exclaimed, looking at the child’s pretty face, seeing her enormous eyes open and stare back at her. They were bright crimson. She cringed and handed her to Harry. “Don’t be mad at me. I am not responsible for this, I have brown eyes.” She pointed at Voldemort without saying anything else. 

“Ho!” Harry exclaimed, shocked by the bold colour before melting into embracing his only child. “Well, besides the creepy eyes she’s gorgeous. She looks just like me, well, again…except for those eyes.” 

“Wow, vain or what?” Snape said awkwardly, garnering a sneer from both Harry and Lord Voldemort. 

“Okay, so she’s got red eyes,” Voldemort said to himself, accepting that he passed the awful trait onto her because he used a certain Unforgivable way too many times, bricking it up in his mind. “Red eyes are beautiful, right, darling?” 

“Okay,” Harry said, unconsciously shaking his head ‘no’ at the same time. 

Bellatrix entered the room to congratulate the happy couple. The baby instantly started to cry. Everyone in the room looked at her. Slowly, she backed away. The baby stopped crying. 

Hermione felt amazing, as if she hadn’t just given birth. It felt as if she had never even been pregnant in the first place. She clutched Snape’s hand, giving him a wink. “Can you believe it? I’m not pregnant anymore! Sex is back on!” 

“Oh hell yes!” Snape shouted back. 

“Oh! I guess we’re going to go do it right now--bye!” Hermione shouted while being dragged out of the hospital room by Snape. 

“Thank you!” they both shouted back as Hermione slid away through the door. The two men sat for several minutes holding their child, already fallen madly in love with her. “They have colour contacts,” Harry mentioned, still not really used to the baby’s eyes. “They are very popular with the kids nowadays.” 

“I guess, if you have a problem with red,” Voldemort said, feeling slightly blighted. “I happen to like the colour red.” 

“Because you’re evil,” Harry mumbled, hating to let an argument go but this day was deserved. “Do you think she’ll be evil, too?” 

“Having a father who is the bloody wizarding hero of the world? Doubt it.” 

“You have a point.” Harry hugged her against him. “She’s already perfectly amazing to me. I’m hooked.” 

“Me too,” Voldemort said, overtly obsessed with his newborn infant. “I never thought I’d want to be a parent, it’s so strange.” 

Harry rubbed Voldemort’s arm. “Not strange. You’re just not used to living life as a normal human up to this point.” 

“What are we going to name her?” 

“Lily,” Harry said. 

“Merope,” Voldemort added. 

“Merope Lily,” Harry finished. 

“I love it,” Voldemort told him and gave him a celebratory kiss. “Voldemort?” 

“Potter-Riddle,” Harry corrected him. “Just like me.” 

Voldemort sighed but agreed. “Potter-Riddle it is then.” 

“Yay, I win again.” 

Voldemort hugged his family. He narrowed his eyes at Harry. “I hope this means no more crying.” 

“Well, not from me anyway.” He looked down at the infant, so entranced with everything about her. “You are aware that babies cry, right? Like…a lot. Right?” 

“They do?” Harry glared at his husband, waiting for him to crack a smile. He didn’t disappoint. “Gods, Harry, you think I’m an idiot?” 

“No comment.” He grinned back at him as he handed him the newborn. 

“I can’t recall the last time I’ve held a baby. My God, she’s so tiny.” She curled her fingers around Lord Voldemort’s index finger, causing the man to gasp with delight. He smiled brightly, looking back at Harry. “And she’s so pretty.” 

“I know, right?” They were both madly in love with her already. She had a mass of baby-fine straight black hair and pale skin like Voldemort. Her features were rounded and effeminate like Harry’s. “Let’s take her home.” 

They stood up, with Voldemort still holding her and uncharacteristically cooing down at her. He let Harry lead him back to their quarters blindly, having no desire to ever take his eyes off of his daughter again.

**Author's Note:**

> Next part will be out soon, titled "Merope in Happyland". If you liked this, let me know and give me kudos, please! Thanks for reading!


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